Can I be transparent for a second? I love my life, I love my wife, my dog, my city and my church. Most of all, I love my savior and the grace I receive from Him daily. On all accounts my life is pretty amazing; I should be happy and most days I really am. But despite the happiness and gratitude there is a deep pain that I can’t seem to shake. Many of you have followed my journey from punk kid to Christian, from Christian to man, from student to disciple and I couldn’t have made it this far without so many of you. But as I’ve moved away there’s a part of my journey most of you have not been privy to.
Towards the end of my time in California I was becoming more and more disgruntled with the neo-Reformed inheritance I came from, and while I’m still grateful for the lessons it taught me; a high view of scripture and the framework for a functioning hermeneutic off the top of my head, I can’t say I belong to that worldview anymore. Without getting too far into it on a public forum, my wife and I were seriously burnt by a people we called family and friends we called home, that came from that movement, raised me in that movement, and gave me a home and voice in that movement.
We are still dealing with the fallout of sin committed against us and the toxic theology that created the sin within our relationship to this day. Over the last few years of my life I’ve learned to begin to forsake duality and see the end fruits of theology and philosophy before they even begin, and I have to say I hated where my theology was taking me, the way I was treating people and the way I lived my life. I watched time and time again as dear friends of mine who are partners in the gospel were non-verbally excommunicated from a church they called home for years prior.
The most horrific part of it was my complicity towards it. I am a guilty Pharisee, but thank God for His grace and love that He would open my eyes to see a world bigger than that even if it was through pain inflicted on me and my family. All this to say; my theology is changing, growing and evolving as I have over the last few years. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on this blog and you’ll see more of my journey as it unfolds as the Lord would see fit, but to comfort my reformed brothers and sisters reading this, don’t worry. I still hold to Orthodoxy, I still believe the Apostles Creed, the Nicene Creed, the Canon is complete and the Gospel is Christ and his work. I’m just trying to figure out the gray space in between and I hope you’ll join me.